Weird Events, Season 1





The sequence of events chronicled below actually happened (correction: is happening)
to someone I know well. Sound familiar to anyone? You can’t make this stuff up, but I may use it in a story someday.

OK. I had an ah… interesting morning. I had to appear in county court at 8:30am after getting home about midnight and getting to sleep after 1am.

Last October: Pulled over for not stopping at a crosswalk.
– was told it’s “Pedestrian Awareness Month” – plainclothes cop was hiding on the curb at night (a revenue trap – there were four other cars pulled over at the same time)
– I couldn’t find my registration immediately so the cop who pulled me over went back to his car to write me up for it.
– when he returned, I had found it and showed it to him. He said it was too late (first weird thing)
– he said  ‘don’t worry it’s just a fixit ticket and all you have to do is take it to the sheriff’s station with proof of registration and they’ll sign off on it. No charge on the crosswalk violation.
– I said ‘great, station is right by my house. I’ll stop on the way home.’
– He said ’no, that would look suspicious. Do it in the morning.’ (second weird thing)
Next morning:
– stopped at Sheriff station and got it signed off (took like an hour)
– they told me I would have to mail in the $25 fee with citations do it at the courthouse
– I went to the courthouse immediately – was told it was not yet in the system so I couldn’t pay it
One week later:
– went to PO and sent money order with signed off citation
One month later:
– received citation and money order back with explanation it was still wasn’t in the system (third weird thing)
Over  the next few months I would check online and it would never be found in the system.
One month ago:
– received a Failure to Appear citation with a charge of $800 to pay off the whole thing or appear in court. I’d never received a summons. (fourth weird thing)
Next day:
– went to the courthouse and showed clerk the signed off ticket and the returned attempted payment
– was told he could reduce the payment to $400 or I could talk to the judge and maybe he’d dismiss it
This morning:
– appeared before the judge (who’d demonstrated severely assholish behavior for the past hour to everyone else)
– told him that it was a false charge and I’d never received a summons to appear.
– he said you don’t actually get a summons – you get it if you make no effort to resolve and pay for the citation
– told him I’d made many attempts, showed him the returned attempted payment as an example
– He said I had a choice to plead guilty and pay the $400 or go to trial
I pled not fucking guilty and my trial date is set for October.
Wonder what wonders await in season 2?

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